Friday, September 9, 2016

Story: The Demon Within the Forest.


(Rama and Lakshmana stand before Jatayu. Image source: Wikimedia.)

Rama wasn’t going to ignore the will of his mother. He would go into exile for fourteen years. His brother, Bharatha, took the throne as per the request of Rama. Although Bhraratha did not want to seem as if he was going against his brother, he knew the kingdom needed someone to rule it in the meantime.

As Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana ventured deeper into the forest, they began to feel exhausted even though it had only been two days since they started their journey.


“I feel so weak, my lord,” said Sita.


“Please don’t give up, Sita. I won’t be able to go on without you by my side,” said Rama.


“I will go and find us a place to rest so that we may regain our energy,” said Lakshmana.


Lakshmana left in search of a place to rest. He came across an old abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. He was cautious as he approached the brown, rickety building. He felt sort of uneasy about the place but decided to ignore the feeling. As he ran back to tell his brother of the news, he heard a faint cry.


“Who dares hide in the shadows? Come out where I can see you.”


Then, a shadowy figure came racing towards him and rushed through him. Lakshmana collapsed onto the ground. After a while, he regained consciousness.


“What just happened?”


Confused, Lakshmana got up and continued over to Rama and Sita to tell them of what he had found.


“Come, I have found us a place to reside.”


They entered the old house. The floors and walls were made of cracked oak wood that seemed to be molding by the odor that filled the air. As they explored deeper into the rooms, they discovered something strange. There were scratch marks that ran along the floorboards. They all felt uneasy about the place but decided to stay and rest to regain their energy.


As night came, they prepared to rest. Halfway into the night, noises began to fill the house. A sound that mimicked that of nails scratching along a surface filled the rooms. Then, out from the floor came a shadow of a lady different from the one that attacked Lakshmana before. The shadow crept along the walls. For some reason, it was drawn to Lakshmana, who was in another room. He had become weak after the other soul had passed through him. It entered his room.


Early next morning, they continued their journey. They reached an area of the forest where no trees grew.


“I wonder why there aren’t any trees around here,” said Sita.


Then, as they turned back around to face the once bare field, they now found themselves looking at a field filled with trees. However, they were not the color of normal trees. They had a ghostly appearance to them. Upon closer inspection, the trees seemed to bear faces. They discovered that every tree enclosed the body of an individual. Rama noticed that one of the trees closely resembled his brother. Suddenly, the ground started to shake. A crack started to form and out emerged a large being. The being had dark skin and eyes. It definitely wasn’t human.


“I am Soorpanaka, demon of the souls. I see you have encountered the forest where I keep the souls that I have captured, one of those being your brother.”


“Give me back Lakshmana, you monster!” said Rama.


Suddenly, soulless Lakshmana attacked Rama. Rama then signaled Sita to go hide in the bushes. She did not want to leave her love but she knew that she would only become an obstacle for him if she stayed.


“Before you can get to me, you must defeat your brother,” said Soorpanaka as she slid back into the crack from where she came.


Rama did not know what to do. Even though that wasn’t his brother, it was still his body and he didn’t want to hurt him. Suddenly a bright light in the shape of a bird appeared before them.


“I am Jatayu, guardian eagle and old friends of your father. I was too a victim of Soorpanaka but I managed to escape after a man chopped down my tree and released my soul.”


“Jatayu, what can I do? I want to save my brother from this wretched deed that Soorpanaka did to him.”


“We won't be able to cut down all these trees one by one, since there are far too many. However, there is another solution. The only other way we can save your brother and everyone who has been a victim of Soorpanaka is if you and I merge. I cannot help you unless I have a vessel. With the combined purity of our souls, we can defeat Soorpanaka and therefore release the souls.”


Jatayu then entered Rama and their souls merged; now there stood a mighty winged beast that bore the face of Rama. Lakshmana attacked Rama but was blinded by the light Rama and Jatayu emitted. That light then surged throughout the forest. Suddenly, all of the trees started to disappear. The souls began to find their way back to their original owners. Lakshmana regained his senses.


“Oh, my brother, I apologize greatly for the trouble I have caused!”


“No need to apologize, my brother. Now that you are you again, I need you to go and protect Sita while Jatayu and I defeat this demon.”


Lakshmana ran to Sita. Soorpanaka once again emerged from her crevice. Her appearance had changed; she was old and frail-looking. The souls that had once kept her youthful were now gone.


“How dare you release all of my souls!”


“They were never yours to begin with.”


With those words Rama released the eagle of light in him. The eagle entered the demon and obliterated it from within.


After that encounter, all was well in the forest again and the group of three continued into the forest with Jatayu watching them from afar as he always did.



Auhor's Note:

For my story I wanted to focus on the obstacles that Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana encounter during the exile of Rama. In the original story, Rama and Lakshmana are brothers by blood but best friends by choice. Their close relationship allowed me to use Lakshmana as a weapon which was why I chose him to have his soul taken. I knew that Rama wouldn't suspect much since it was his brother. Why would his brother ever want to hurt him? In the Ramayana, Soorpanaka is a demon who is very fond of Rama when she meets him. She falls deeply in love with him which is why she then tries to get Rama to leave Sita and follow her. She even tries to harm Sita. I didn't incorporate much of the romance quarrel that happened between the three into my story due to the fact that I tried to make the feel of this story a bit more ominous instead of a love-oriented one. I kept Soorpanaka as a demon in order to make her the antagonist of my scary story. As per the suggestion of my classmate, Candace Johnston, I made it to where the reason that Soorpanaka kept the souls was because she wanted to stay beautiful and youthful. If she didn’t consume them, then she wouldn’t have the power or strength to revert back and forth between her beautiful appearance and her demon one.



Bibliography:

Narayan's Ramayana, link to reading Guide B.

15 comments:

  1. I am glad you did a story, Linh! You can declare this for Week 4, and I'll be able to put it in a blog group next week. Happy Friday! :-)

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    1. Ah, now that I reread this, I realize that I misunderstand what you had told me to do professor Gibbs. I had thought that you said for me to declare this story for my week 3 and I thought, "that's weird", since I had turned it in late. Haha.

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  2. I loved your story! Lakshmana's soul being taken from him by Soorpanaka took me by surprise and I thought it was a great twist. I should have been able to predict something of the sort to occur but the noises you described in the house lead me to believe you were going in a different direction, so good job on the surprise aspect!
    I see that Jayatu came to save the day and why he would want to (he was Rama's fathers friend) but where did he come from? Was he just always watching over them or did he just happen to see them and recognized who they were? I also wondered why Soorpanaka would want to keep the souls? What if it was to keep young and beautiful she preyed upon the young to take their youth.
    I thought the story flowed very well but what if you left out the part about Jayatu and Rama becoming one and they just worked together to release the souls. Maybe cut down a tree and that light blinded the dark forest releasing the souls.
    This is one of my favorite stories so far! Great Job.

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  3. What a creative take on the story! It reminds me of a lot of other mythological stories from different traditions... mythical beings and humans working together in order to overcome a foe. Your language is also wonderfully descriptive, and really contributes to the overall mood of the story. This certainly went in a direction that I wasn't expecting at all!

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  4. My favorite part about this story is the suspense you build before Soorpanaka appears. Your choice of words does this quite well. For example, "scratch along floorboards" and "shadow crept along halls" especially set the tone. Did you come up with the idea of the faces of the stolen souls on trees or is it an ancient story from India? If this was a work of your imagination, well done. Reading your story prompted me to go back and read the story of Soorpanaka, and I honestly liked your version just as much as the original! This is a great story to include in your portfolio. Just wondering, are you planning on doing stories only on demons or about struggles in exile in general? You did such a great job with this sort of "horror" story that you should consider doing more stories like this one.

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    1. Hi Morghan! First of all, thank you so much for the positive feedback! It's definitely a great feeling when someone likes your story. Yes, surprisingly haha I came up with the idea for the faces on the trees. I plan on doing many different types of stories (many of which will probably include demons since they play a huge role in Indian epics). It just depends on the reading that I do for that week. Thank you so much again for the amazing feedback, it really brightened my day!

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  5. Hi Linh,
    This is the second story of yours that I have read and I love your writing style. As soon as the story took its first turn from the original story line, I couldn't stop reading. I enjoy how you change the entirety of the story to create a completely different scene. The part that I enjoyed the most was you drawing the suspense and explaining the “creepy” scene of the cottage. I felt a connection to you Lakshmana character. I wonder what his perspective was of the events that followed and what was going on in his head while his soul was “taken”. What if you explored more of the story from Lakshmana’s perspective like you did at the beginning of the piece? I think that would make the story more eerie and give it more of a scary story vibe like you were mentioning in your Author’s Note. Again, great job and I love your ability to drastically, yet effectively, change these stories!

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  6. Hi Linh! I really loved the concept of Soorpanaka as a soul-stealing demoness and it provided a really great way to give Jatayu some agency as well. He was always one of my favorite characters and I like that this story has him play a bigger role than fighting and losing to Ravana and adds another way in which he tries to help Rama protect those he holds dear. Great work, and I look forward to reading more from you soon!

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  7. I enjoyed reading your story again Linh.
    It looks like you have added some more dialogue to your story and more description! I like how you added why Soorpanka wanted to take the souls in the first place (to remain young looking). This addition really gives the reader more insight to why she was taking souls and understand her character better; even if she is an evil one. The ghost forest kind of reminds me of Game of Thrones, which is why I think I like your story so much (they have a weird face thing and your trees reminded me of it oddly!
    I also like how you really changed Sita's character from the original story; she was kind of needy and had Rama wrapped around her finger. In your story she thought about what Rama asked her to do logically and you even gave us a glimpse into her mind and rationale. Instead of disobeying Rama when he asked her to go hide behind the bushes she thought about it and knew it would be for the best.

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  8. You're such a talented writer. Typically I can find an issue or two with a story but yours was flawless! It was very eerie and suspenseful, which I loved! Especially when they were inside of the creepy house! All the weird noises and smells just added to the scare factor. Oddly, the part about the trees reminded me of The Wizard of Oz. I haven't watched that in ages but I remember there being trees that came to life. And they weren't nice trees either. They were mean and scary! I liked that you used the souls as a way for Soorpanaka to keep her youth. That was a nice touch. And I liked that you left out the romance. It made the story more original. I don't think I would have thought to leave out the romance! Also, I loved that you put Rama up against Lakshamana. That was a cool twist that I didn't expect! I seriously enjoyed reading this story and am eager to look into your other stories as well!!

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  9. I liked the supernatural element of this story. It was nice to see something dark and murky, in place of the colorful descriptors used in the novel. I also enjoyed that Sita wasn't a damsel in distress. That's how most stories go, including the one this based off I guess! Again, it's that off the beaten path aspect I liked. The merging was interesting too. It made me think of Voltron or DBZ. Since I'm a fan of both those things, I was a fan of the idea here too!
    I’m curious about the text though. It’s possible it’s just my computer and browser, but some of the words are blue to me? It looks like they’re hyperlinks, but without a link. Also, is “How dare you release all of my souls?” supposed to be a question mark? It reads like you maybe meant to put an exclamation mark there.
    I dug the descriptions you used, you really painted a good picture of the creepy forest. The fusion was fun, and it was a great twist on Soorpanaka. All in all it was really good!

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    1. Hi Rand! I'm guessing that when I copied and pasted my story into word to edit, it copied the hyperlinks (in blue) as well. Then when I pasted the story back into my blog, I had forgotten to change the color back to black. Thank you for catching that and telling me and thank you for your encouraging feedback!

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  10. I really like that you kept this story so close to the original but still managed to give it your own flare. Your writing style is really nice too and very easy to get pulled into as one reads! I like that you used the relationship between the brothers to make the story more intense and I really like the mystical supernatural like element that is both subtle but not very subtle at the same time! I have no idea if that makes sense... moral of the story is that I find this very well written and exciting! One particular thing that I really enjoyed about your story is that it isn't too over the top. You made a story that really flows from one point to the next but isn't unbelievable. I mean, yes it is just a story, but if we were in a world where that stuff typically happened, your story is written in such a way that it really could happen! Good job, I look forward to reading some more!

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  11. I really like how your story kept the essence of the original story, but it had a little bit of your own uniqueness added in as well. I think that this story was wonderful! I could really feel the emotions of Rama and visualize his protective instinct towards his brother. Especially since I have a sibling as well, and I would have had the same feelings. I really enjoyed how you chose to keep it simple, yet engaging! It allows to keep the over dramatic storytelling to a minimum which I typically do not enjoy very much. I think that the story is very well organized and thought out. You can tell that much effort and consideration was done before you chose to write out your story. All in all, I think that you did a wonderful job with this story and I cannot wait to read more stories from you! Great job and keep up the good work!

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  12. I loved reading this story! I loved the suspenseful and supernatural side of the story. I could not find any errors in this story and thought you did a great job with it! The story was definitely very well thought out and planned. I felt like I was there to feel the emotions of Rama and could picture it throughout the story. I felt that the story was very simple but kept all of the details involved as well. No details were left out and the story kept me intrigued the entire time. I liked how you left out certain aspects from the original, such as the romance. I would not have thought of leaving out the romance in a story like this but I really liked it this way. I really enjoyed reading the story and loved your style of writing.

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