(A valiant looking Rama. Image Source: Wikimedia.)
The battle raged on. Ravana had begun to reach his breaking point. He utilized most of the resources that were available to him but to no avail. Rama was invincible as he countered all of Ravana’s attacks one-by-one, but Ravana was determined not to give up. When Ravana had nothing else to offer, Rama thought that it was time to end this strenuous fight. He decided to try and use the “Maya,” an ancient weapon that allowed the user to confuse their opponent by creating illusions. Ravana started to charge at Rama with full force. Upon stepping within arm's distance of Rama, Ravana suddenly entered another dimension.
“What just happened? Where am I?”
Ravana began to wander around the dark and ominous field in search of an exit. He walked for a while until he reached a tunnel. He saw a light at the end of the tunnel so he began to walk towards it.
As he reached the end, he faintly heard the voice of a woman. Suddenly, a blinding light impaired his vision as he exited the tunnel. When his eyes refocused on the scene, he found himself standing before a woman holding a child. At first, Ravana was confused by the whole picture. However, as he examined the woman more closely, he was bewildered to find that that woman was in fact his mother, Kaikesi. Ravana did not understand what was happening. Slowly, he found himself wanting to touch the face of his mother. Step-by-step, he inched closer and closer to her. Just as he was about to touch her cheek, a bright light once again appeared. When Ravana regained his vision, he now found himself in his childhood home. He looked around to find all of the things he used to enjoy as a child, from his favorite old slingshot to the blanket that he always held on to so dearly. He began to explore the house when a little boy stopped him. The boy looked up at Ravana and spoke in a soft voice.
“Who are you?”
“I am Ravana. Who are you?”
“I am also Ravana.”
At that moment, he once again heard the voice of his mother.
“Ravana, come here, my little one.”
Ravana watched as the little boy happily ran to his mother, well, their mother. He continued to watch and admire as the boy and his mother laughed and frolicked. He suddenly started to think.
When did I become so engrossed in hurting people? When did I become so evil?
Ravana did not understand how such a pure little boy could become what he had become. He began to also think about the fight that was going on with Rama.
“Why am I fighting Rama?”
Ravana knew that at first he wanted to fight Rama for the hand of Rama's wife, Sita, but he began to rethink the choices he had made. Deep down, Ravana knew what he was doing was wrong. It’s just that he didn’t know how to stop. He didn't know when to stop living up to the picture that people drew of him. For the first time in a long time, Ravana felt remorse. He felt remorse for the wrongs that he had done. He felt remorse for ever straying off into the wrong direction.
With that thought, the room started to shake. Suddenly, Ravana found himself back on the battlefield. Only now, everything was frozen in time. This was the perfect moment. Ravana had the chance to defeat Rama once and for all. However, Ravana could not move his feet. He had this new feeling inside of him that prevented him from moving forward with the heinous act. For the first time in his adult life, he felt sympathy. He felt not only sympathy for Rama but he felt sympathy for himself, for a once innocent boy who somewhere along the line took the wrong turn. He felt apologetic for causing Rama pain. At that moment, time began to proceed again. Ravana was once again very confused. Rama was now looking at him.
“You, Ravana, have passed the test of the Maya."
“The test of the Maya?"
“I used the test of the Maya in hopes that you could be redeemed. The Maya is an ancient weapon used to create illusions. For people who cannot be redeemed, it will cause them to go crazy. However, for people whom even have the slightest chance of being saved, it has the power to show the victim how they once were. Everyone is born pure, and many stray off that path, but the “Maya” was built to restore that path. You, Ravana, have successfully passed the test."
“You have given me the chance to redeem myself and for that, I will be forever grateful. To make up for my past wrongdoings, I shall now live my life in a righteous manner as you do. I shall return Sita to you immediately. I greatly apologize for the trouble that I have caused.”
So that was the end of the great battle between Rama and Ravana. The battle did not conclude with a death but with a birth, the birth of a new Ravana. Rama had once again succeeded in saving another lost soul.
Author's Note
I was really intrigued with the description of how the "Maya" worked which was why I decided to focus on the effects it had on the victim in my story. The Maya was a weapon that had the power to create illusions for the person who it was used on. It was a weapon I wanted the outcome of the fight to be one that was happy and the only way I felt that that could have happen was if Ravana was somehow redeemed and/or if he realized the error of his ways. I made this possible by tweaking the effects of the Maya a little by making it send Ravana down memory lane. By doing this, Ravana would be able to see the person that he once was. We are all born pure but some of us end up taking the wrong path. In the end Ravana came to realize that the fight he was in was not worth it. I wanted to make everyone a winner; I wanted a happy ending and with this, I was hopefully able to create that for the readers. I still stuck to the original story of them having an ongoing, strenuous fight but I added my own twist to it i.e the happy ending.
Bibliography
“Who are you?”
“I am Ravana. Who are you?”
“I am also Ravana.”
At that moment, he once again heard the voice of his mother.
“Ravana, come here, my little one.”
Ravana watched as the little boy happily ran to his mother, well, their mother. He continued to watch and admire as the boy and his mother laughed and frolicked. He suddenly started to think.
When did I become so engrossed in hurting people? When did I become so evil?
Ravana did not understand how such a pure little boy could become what he had become. He began to also think about the fight that was going on with Rama.
“Why am I fighting Rama?”
Ravana knew that at first he wanted to fight Rama for the hand of Rama's wife, Sita, but he began to rethink the choices he had made. Deep down, Ravana knew what he was doing was wrong. It’s just that he didn’t know how to stop. He didn't know when to stop living up to the picture that people drew of him. For the first time in a long time, Ravana felt remorse. He felt remorse for the wrongs that he had done. He felt remorse for ever straying off into the wrong direction.
With that thought, the room started to shake. Suddenly, Ravana found himself back on the battlefield. Only now, everything was frozen in time. This was the perfect moment. Ravana had the chance to defeat Rama once and for all. However, Ravana could not move his feet. He had this new feeling inside of him that prevented him from moving forward with the heinous act. For the first time in his adult life, he felt sympathy. He felt not only sympathy for Rama but he felt sympathy for himself, for a once innocent boy who somewhere along the line took the wrong turn. He felt apologetic for causing Rama pain. At that moment, time began to proceed again. Ravana was once again very confused. Rama was now looking at him.
“You, Ravana, have passed the test of the Maya."
“The test of the Maya?"
“I used the test of the Maya in hopes that you could be redeemed. The Maya is an ancient weapon used to create illusions. For people who cannot be redeemed, it will cause them to go crazy. However, for people whom even have the slightest chance of being saved, it has the power to show the victim how they once were. Everyone is born pure, and many stray off that path, but the “Maya” was built to restore that path. You, Ravana, have successfully passed the test."
“You have given me the chance to redeem myself and for that, I will be forever grateful. To make up for my past wrongdoings, I shall now live my life in a righteous manner as you do. I shall return Sita to you immediately. I greatly apologize for the trouble that I have caused.”
So that was the end of the great battle between Rama and Ravana. The battle did not conclude with a death but with a birth, the birth of a new Ravana. Rama had once again succeeded in saving another lost soul.
Author's Note
I was really intrigued with the description of how the "Maya" worked which was why I decided to focus on the effects it had on the victim in my story. The Maya was a weapon that had the power to create illusions for the person who it was used on. It was a weapon I wanted the outcome of the fight to be one that was happy and the only way I felt that that could have happen was if Ravana was somehow redeemed and/or if he realized the error of his ways. I made this possible by tweaking the effects of the Maya a little by making it send Ravana down memory lane. By doing this, Ravana would be able to see the person that he once was. We are all born pure but some of us end up taking the wrong path. In the end Ravana came to realize that the fight he was in was not worth it. I wanted to make everyone a winner; I wanted a happy ending and with this, I was hopefully able to create that for the readers. I still stuck to the original story of them having an ongoing, strenuous fight but I added my own twist to it i.e the happy ending.
Bibliography
Great job on creating a plot twist from the original version of Narayan's Ramayana using the "Maya"! Your plot twist kind of reminded me of the story "A Christmas Carol" in the sense that Ravana visited his past and it he was taught how to feel remorse. What would really be interesting is if in your story you added a trip to Ravana's future as a, what would happen if he continued to fight in the war with Rama. If he won and kept Sita would he really be all that happy? Or what if he lost the battle? What would come of him then?
ReplyDeleteAlso in the authors note elaborate a little more on the original version of the "Maya".
I enjoyed reading your story, good job!
I think the twist you added here actually lines up really well with the original story. I remember being a little confused when I read about how Ravana initially got his strength through prayer and devotion to the god Brahma, and how Rama was always trying to give Ravana one last chance to submit and turn from his wickedness. It was even said that as Rama's arrows pierced Ravana, they stripped all the corruption from him, and left him beautiful and pure as he was meant to be. Taking him back to the innocence of childhood is a great way to show this! The one thing I'm left wondering is, "what happens after the battle?" Does Lanka become peaceful under Ravana's rule, or does Ravana give it up entirely? What might Ravana say to Sita when he releases her, or to his armies?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the story!
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ReplyDeleteWow! Linh this story was amazing and I don't say that lightly. The way you chose to twist the story was touching. It makes me wish this was the original story. I love the idea of the Maya and how it reacts with each person differently determining their fate in the end, going crazy, or being saved. This creates a much more powerful "battle" than just fighting on the battle field, it's a fight within one's heart. This was absolutely beautiful, great job.
ReplyDeleteI love your writing style! I was engrossed in the story from start to finish! I like how unique the story has now become. I really like the idea of focusing on the victim's standpoint instead! You can really see Ravana fighting with himself to understand reality. I thought it was a really good twist on the story! Great Job! I can't wait to read more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteThis was such a beautiful story, Linh! I'm glad you chose this kind of redemption arc for Ravana because even in literature he's described as a pious individual who amassed great powers through his devotion to the gods and intense prayer. He commits terrible deeds in the Ramayana, but ultimately is a steadfast devotee of the Lord and a pure soul; I think you were able to capture that very well.
ReplyDeleteYour interpretation of the Maya was also very interesting. In the book, it merely described it as a tool for creating illusions, so it was neat that you chose his mother and younger self as the theme of his illusion. As far as avenues for further exploration, how do you think restoration efforts happened after the war? Ravana was certainly the evil mastermind as far as we know, but are those under him just as willing to stop the battle? Does he have to convince the rest of the rakshahas to change as well?
This was a really such a nice story to read. It's told beautifully and it reads so smoothly from beginning to end. You have a very unique style that really sticks out in this piece and it just works so well here. The tone is maintained well throughout and only fluctuates at the perfect moments. Well done with this one. I don't really see a ton of changes that need to be made to make this piece better. I like that you decided to take a very different style on this retelling and I feel like you ultimately did a good job with it. You could probably beef it up just by adding a few more concrete, descriptive details here and there so the reader is seeing exactly what you want them to see and nothing else, but otherwise, good job with this one. Good luck with any and all revisions you choose to make!
ReplyDeleteYou are very creative. I loved the use of Maya in the story. This happy ending was exciting to read. The transition from paragraph to paragraph is great. I never found it hard to follow. I loved how you also explained in the story what Maya is, since many may not know what it means. This adds to the story book feeling. I also found little to none grammatical errors. Only things I found were; where you said, "an ancient weapon that allowed to user to confuse" I believe you meant to put " allowed the user". when you said "find that that woman was, in fact, his mother", "things he used to enjoy as a child", "battlefield", " felt that that could have happened was if Ravana", and "In the end, Ravana came to realize". Good job with the story, and I can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great read and I'm ecstatic I had the opportunity to read it for this week's portfolio assignment. After reading this, I would just like to say that you were able to offer a prescriptive successfully that most have trouble with. It can be very difficult to add a sympathetic side to a villain that is known constantly for evil nature. In your story, I was able to completely find myself infatuated with the regret and confusion filled journey that Ravana went upon. I also enjoyed that this was somewhat of a substitution for the original plot point. The battle between the two ends, but not in the way that the natural good vs evil struggle lasts. You were able to add the aspect of redemption which was beautiful. This was such a strong piece and I'm glad you decided to add it to your portfolio. Great read!
ReplyDelete